So, way back on “Fearless Friday”, I looked at Dr. Karl Albrecht’s list of what he says are the 5 universal fears that are shared by everyone. For a refresher, I listed them again. You can go to Friday’s post to read about them more in-depth. The 5 universal fears we all share are:
2. Mutilation or Bodily Invasion
3. Loss of Autonomy
4. Separation, Abandonment or Rejection
5. Humiliation, Shame or Worthlessness
Nope, the word F.E.A.R. is STILL not a fun word to think about. Well, maybe it’s not as a bad as
Healthy fear is normal. It’s okay to have in our life. Basically, healthy fear alerts us when something is or may be wrong. Unhealthy fear is a response to an imagined danger that isn't real. Admittedly, there is a fine line. Sometimes we may fear something when there is nothing to fear. Goes hand in hand with our "flight or fight" response.
But back to our unhealthy fear. What are the action steps for dealing with our fear?
Don't just do something, stand there! Be deliberate in how you are going to face your fear. Create a plan and pace yourself when you are working on it. Maybe you should analyze the options and make a well thought out choice into how you are going to deal with your fear instead of tackling it head-on in the heat of the moment.
Name your fear. By stating what your fear is, it will give you the strength to deal with it. By bringing it "into the light" you are better able to focus on it. PLUS it just might turn into being "not that big of a deal" as you thought it was. Another thing you can do is educate yourself about it. Nothing strikes as much fear into the heart of men then the fear of the unknown. When you face your fears with facts about it instead of speculating on it, you are better able to deal with your fear. And stop blowing the damn thing out of proportion! Is it really that big of a deal? Overall, is this fear going to make you or break you? Where does it fit into the grand scheme of things-known as your life? What's the worst that could happen. Most of the time the fear itself is worse than the outcome.
Visualize success. Picture yourself successfully overcoming your fear. What we imagine is what comes true. If you picture bad things resulting from your fear, yep, that's what will happen. But, BUT if you picture yourself as SUCCEEDING, YOU WILL RISE ABOVE IT!
Have a positive attitude! Goes hand in hand with visualizing success. In the book The Power of Self-Confidence: Become Unstoppable, Irresistible, and UNAFRAID in Every Area of Your Life, author Brian Tracy asks: "What would you do differently if you were ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEED of success in ANY undertaking?" Man, if that's not a powerful statement for life, I don't know what is! People with positive attitudes are successful BECAUSE they keep trying after others give up. And if you're afraid to do something again because it didn't work out the last time, figure out why it didn't work, and try something different before giving up on it.
Allow yourself to be fully present with your fear for 2-3 minutes. Focus on your fear completely. It won't be fun, but our emotions are like the ocean, the waves ebb and flow. Make sure you have something healthy to do immediately afterward so you don't stay stuck in your fear. Do some deep breathing exercises, call a good friend, do an activity you enjoy.
What can your fear teach you? Ask it! Write it a letter. Tell your fear you are not intimidated by it anymore, but you want to know what it can teach you.
Exercise. Exercise can help you to refocus, your mind can only focus on one thing at a time. Exercise is good for you and will ground you.
Practice your faith/spirituality. It helps you to feel connected to something greater than yourself. It gets you reconnected to your higher power. When you turn your fear over to something bigger than yourself, it will help you deal with your fear and alleviate the pressure. Faith helps deal with everyday stress.
Ask. What are your fears trying to tell you? What do you think your fears mean? We all go through things for a reason. Just like iron, we become stronger when forged in the fire.
PRACTICE GRATITUDE! When you focus on the things you are grateful for, your fear doesn't matter as much. Write down what you are grateful for. Then when you feel fearful, look at your list. Laugh at your fear! Man, when you laugh at it, it won't be that big of a deal! I guarantee it!
There are other ways to deal with your fear, but maybe, just maybe the best way to deal with it is to be kind to yourself!
Oh yeah, Those acronyms for fear?
False Expectations Appearing Real
Forget Everything And Run
The one you should really be able to focus on now is:
FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE!
Here's to your success!! Until next time....